Article Dan speed blogs

Short sharp shocks to the world 
Tags


Filed under

america

 
January 5, 2009

Handguns for the helpless?

Happy New Year, friends. Hope you enjoyed the festivities. Did Santa bring you want you wanted? Did he bring you a Wake n' Bacon? Doubt it. I'll also wager you didn't find one of these bad-boys in your stocking:

Hold on, Dan - that looks like some kind of cock pump. There's no WAY you're fooling me into clicking through to that pop-up porn-storm. No. Way.

But it's not. That would actually be more comforting. That out there you can buy a portable and discreet cock pump - that would fill me with joy rather than confront the truth of The Palm Pistol. Which is, and I quote:

'...an ergonomically innovative single shot double action only defensive firearm chambered in 9mm that may be fired using either hand without regard to orientation of the stock.'

Yes, that's right - the gift you've always hankered for with self-defence-driven bloodlust - the Palm Pistol.

While all other brands of concealed handguns require you to regard the orientation of the stock, the Palm Pistol does away with all of that nonsense. Left hand, right hand - just a simple squeeze and BLAM! - you got yourself a trophy.

Hell, I'll wager, if you practiced, you could fire this thing with your arse cheeks. Now there's a truly concealed weapon waiting to happen.

Wait. Dan. Who...? Who would want one of these things?

Baby, this thing is for everyone; best of all it's 'ideal for seniors, disabled or others who may have limited strength or manual dexterity.' Although, I don't know about you, but I think I have a problem with a lethal weapon in the hands of someone with limited manual dexterity. Unless of course they were clenching it between their buttocks, in which case, as I say - I'm all for embracing diversity.

But, ah-ah-ah-aaah! Despite everything you see that might be driving you to think that this is something you could get on the NHS or  buy for your grandpa and claim against as a medical expense - sorry - that's a no-no. http://gizmodo.com/5105177/party+pooping-fda-says-palm-pistol-definitely-not-a-medical-device 

Still - let's hear it for The Palm Pistol! Point and shoot couldn't be easier.

Reserve yours now!

Keep th' faith for '09

Article Dan

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //   America   Cock pump   Guns   Humour   Medicinal firearms  

Comments [1]

November 5, 2008

Obama victory a victory for democracy and Doonesbury

Can we kick it? Yes we can!
 
So, Garry was right. Doonesbury retains its credibility. The United States of America has a new president (or will have in a few months - Obama's President-Elect til then). The world feels a swell of hope.
 
 
Hyperbole? Over-egging the presidential pudding? Take a look at Obama's victory speech on BBC News and tell me it isn't an exciting prospect to have a lucid, literate, charismatic leader in the White House. A man for whom 210 years of history has particular resonance as he stands at the podium tracing the immense arch of the USA's democratic history of civil wars, slavery and oppression, all the while able to press his palm against the recurrent keystones of hope, progress and change and feel its strength, feel its bold and noble foundations, and take that palm and press it then to his own chest and speak sincerely and passionately of a government of the people, by the people, for the people.
 
The hope and the promise will doubtless subside and be subsumed into the reality of politics and compromise, but today, if no other day, just for today - whatever you do - do it better. The world deserves it; you deserve it. Do it better.
 
Keep th' faith,
Article Dan

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //   America   Doonesbury   Election   Obama  

Comments [0]

November 4, 2008

Doonesbury counts Obama's chickens early

Ooooooh. Now THAT'S a risky little number.
 
Garry Trudeau, Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist / author of the Doonesbury strips has submitted his strip for Wednesday 5th November 2008, the contents of which depict a scene in Iraq as soldiers witness and celebrate an Obama victory. Today's strip 4th November 2008 - a prelude - resides below:
 
 
This potential hubris in the face of the Fates has some of the strips syndicated newspapers (of which Doonesbury features in hundreds worldwide) understandably jittery. Afterall it could look a tad out of touch come 5th November if John McCain has taken the vote. But Trudeau says that "From a risk-assessment viewpoint, I felt comfortable with the odds."
 
A McCain camp spokesman has reportedly said that the strip proves to be as 'predictive as it is consistently lame.' Ouch! Scratch your eyes out!
 
In more measured retorts, McCainers point to an amusing precedent for early editions famously calling victory and falling flat on their faces - siting the Chicago Tribune's ill-fated 1948 headline 'Dewey defeats Truman'. See below a victorious President-elect Truman crowing some over said headline.
 
Which way is it going to go? I don't know. Is Doonesbury's calling for Obama a jinx or is it Fox News calling for George W Bush; Warner calling for Blu-ray; Oprah calling for the Kindle (another blog to follow on that one)...?
 
Either way, in about 24 hours or so, we'll know. And those cartoon soldiers sitting round the TV in Iraq shouting "Son of a gun! What a great day! We did it!" will either represent a precient, poignant echo of a worldwide sense of something phenominal occuring, or will just be another bitter little pill amidst a debris of ugly medicine many folks have to take that day.
 
Article Dan

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //   America   Doonesbury   Election   Futurology   Obama  

Comments [1]

October 18, 2008

W (dubya) again

Ok, despite th fact that this is my second blog about Oliver Stone's W (previous: http://article_dan.posterous.com/w-stands-for-watching) I'm in no way obsessed with this movie - in fact the chances of my even going to see it are a million to one, but the promos and the concept have me, and no mistaking.

Check out the poster below. How much does Josh Brolin look like G W Bush in this picture? Easier to do with half your face hidden, you might argue, but c'mon - that's pretty fucking uncanny. Looks like Brolin has nailed it.

I just wonder how many people in the UK are going to be bothered to fork out the tenner to see this. Doesn't strike me as a box office shoo in...

If you do go see it - tell me how it was.

Article Dan

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //   America   George W Bush   Movie   Oliver Stone   W  

Comments [0]

September 27, 2008

John McCain has just heard of the curve

US Presidential candidate John McCain has just joined Twitter. http://twitter.com/JohnMcCain Having joined on 19 September 08 he (I say 'he', I mean some advisor or sophmore rebublican runner) has posted a giddying total of five updates.
 
Is this quality over quantity? You tell me:
 
I Know, I know. It's the Times.: ABC News reports: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., reportedly.. http://tinyurl.com/529f64 about 21 hours ago from twitterfeed
A Partisan Paper of Record: Today the New York Times launched its latest attack on this campaign in it.. http://tinyurl.com/47azyy 07:30 AM September 24, 2008 from twitterfeed
Biden: No Coal Plants Here in America: AUWAERTER: Senator, Senator, wind and solar are flouris.. http://tinyurl.com/4bh5pb 07:30 PM September 23, 2008 from twitterfeed
No Time for the Facts: Time magazine's Karen Tumulty accuses this campaign of racism for launching thi.. http://tinyurl.com/3j2cuf 05:00 PM September 19, 2008 from twitterfeed
 
McCain has (as of 27 Sept 08 11.19 GMT) 1,050 followers and follows 1,031. Among those he follows are Barack NObama (see what he did there?) and Fake Barrack Obama BUT he does not follow his actual competitor's Twitter stream. I mean you wouldn't want to know what your opponent was doing would you?
 
So - compare this to the competition: Mr Barack Obama. He has 80,000+ followers and follows more than 90,000 people. (Presumably before the 2K cap imposed by Twitter). He (again - 'he' - some clued-up stooge more likely) has posted 206 updates.
 
McCain has stated that he doesn't even use email so this is all of little surprise really.
 
But is this genius? McCain is so behind the curve he almosts reverses around the circle entirely and ends up back AHEAD of the curve again! I love it!
 
Article Dan

Loading mentions Retweet
Filed under  //   America   Election   John McCain   Obama   Twitter  

Comments [0]